“I know a girl; she puts the colour inside my world…”
So you thought you have been misunderstood. And that I am all wrong about you and that no one will understand you and can give you what you want. Nobody seems to be catering to your needs. And then I sympathizes you… wrong I was.
“I’ve been down so low people look at me and they know….”
I've stopped laughing... but I haven't stop making people laugh. I don't believe they should be deprive of happiness and sincere laughter. It's weird that I am still sane when I'm plagued wtih mixed feelings every single day.
“when my head is strong but my heart is weak…”
Was it my fault that I followed my emotions rather than use my brains? Why did you have to use mental strength against everyone?
“when you get what you want but not what you need…”
What I realize is that you are just trying to fill up the void that has been emptied for so long. It didn't matter to you how you are going to do it. It didn't matter who it was. You are just out to *echo...* hey is that an echo from your soul?
"she'll tease you... she'll unease you... all the better just to please you..."
Just like a spoilt child. You give some but took it away expecting more. You gave me hope, and then you blame me for the same action that you did. I sick of being your play thing when you are bored.
“I lay down on your bed of coals, offer up my heart and soul…”
I do not expect anything in return. I do not need you to do things for me. I do not need the emotional coaster ride that you have led me to. The ups that I look forward to. The downs which ripped my heart out through my mouth.
“don’t you remember you told me you love me…”
At the hospital. On a clear moonlit night. Not too loud to let others hear you. But soft and clear enough to convince me that you meant it. I read it wrongly as fate would have it. Weird though, no matter how I tried not to remember, it kept coming up every time 'Ruang Rindu' goes on air.
“I tried to go on like I never knew you…”
A fool I must have been, to pretend that you are a stranger when you meant so much to me in my heart. My nonchalant attitude when it comes to knowing you. I am ashamed of my indifference. Even when you are so far away, it does not help make things any easier dude...
“there’s no light at the end of the tunnel tonight…”
I was trapped. There was no way I could escape for I am in too deep. I tried to breathe, gasping for air. Clawing my way out did not help for I was only hurting myself in the end. Is that a scratch I see? Will the wound remain there forever to remind me of the emotional hell that I went through.
“I don’t want to waste another day… keeping it inside is killing me…”
So I went to the same hill and let it all out at 3am in the morning. All the replied me was cold air. Telling me that my questions won’t be answered tonight. There I stand at the spot where we sat. Angry. Stoned. Cold. Alone.
“there’s a light… a certain kind of light…”
I made and error in judgement yet again. But it is not going to keep my from giving up everything single time. Will I finally be able to let all these go...??
“a new day has come…”
"mengapa? aku yang terluka. aku yang merana. aku yang menahan sisa baki cinta ini...."
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